Growing out of friends

No one just hangs out anymore- always got to have a plan... meh. Gone are the days when friends had fun enjoying each other's company. Is that something only teenagers can do? What happens to adults? Are we too jaded- 'been there done that'? Sometimes someone needs to just be around other people. So why does it have to be about "where are we going?" "who's going to be there?" "do they serve alcohol?" I can't tell you how many people I know that have depression or no money, and everyone treats them like lepers. Nobody wants to sit and do nothing. And I'm not saying we should all be lazy, but we can relax together, right? Enjoy sitting, talking, listening to music, scanning the TV- right? We're all miserable bastards, let's be miserable bastards together.

Geez! Sometimes people make me sick. The greed, the corruption.... This is just another article that would mean nothing if it weren't part of a series of articles on "corruptions discovered" after the economy bust: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Neighbors-Exec-moved-into-apf-818362254.html?x=0&.v=1
Haven't the "rich and powerful" learned anything from revolts in France, Russia, colonial America...?

I'm not mean, I'm happy!

I finally figured something out this year that I have wondered about my whole life! Everyone thinks I'm mean (given), but there are some people I am absolutely not being mean to that think that, and it has always confused me. I'm not going to go into the whole process of how I realized what is going on, but here it is:
I make fun of people I like.
This is my way of "hazing" them, saying "hey, you're so cool I think you can handle a little jab." It is a supreme compliment, people. It means I think you are worthy to be my friend; I've observed you and I deem you to be intelligent, strong, funny, and confident. That is why it confuses me when people get offended. I'm trying to say "welcome to my life" and they are crying in the corner. Trust me people, you will know when I'm being mean on purpose, cause you won't be crying in the corner, you'll be bleeding. I yell when I'm angry, I get in people's faces when someone's pissing me off, I hit below the belt, I burn bridges... I attack. It's not pleasant; someone will be scarred for life, and things will be said that I can't take back.
But I understand that not everyone gets my humor, and not everyone accepts it. So for those of you who prefer that I don't "haze" you, a simple "Hey, Nena, I don't like that" will do. But if you feel up to it, sling some trash-talkin' back at me, and we'll be best friends for life!

Music for the Youth Impaired 2

I just drove in to Austin, and I realized I left off two whole music genres- important genres, if one is driving through a small town in the south: country and Christian. Since I am less familiar with these genres, I'll keep this list to those groups/singers who are good enough for the "rockers" of us to listen to.
*House of Heroes- one of my 2 fav bands and you'll find them on a Christian rock station. very good music to drive to!
*George Strait- can't go wrong w/ George.
*Alan Jackson- he's just a fun, country boy.
*Skillet- Christian heavy metal, on par w/ Korn.
*Abandon- the Christian's answer to The Fray/The Killers
*The Contact- a better, wiser version of Abandon (and The Fray and The Killers for that matter).
*Linda Ronstadt- wonderful voice, and she sings in many different genres, but you probably won't hear her on the radio unless it's country.
*Project 86- Christian heavy metal w/ a Mike Patton feel.
*Children 18:3- awesome Christian punk, a la Youth Gone Mad.
*Lucinda Williams- the kind of country you might listen to on a lazy summer afternoon.

Music for the Youth Impaired

A few years ago I lost the cd player function in my car, and have ever since been subjected to the Clear Channel's idea of what good music is. (Apparently it is 10-20 songs on repeat for a year, and then you add one song to the list at the end of that year.) I also live 3.5 hours from my parents, and 45 minutes from work. Needless to say, I drive A LOT. And I'm not always in the mood to have conversations with myself, or be silent, so I have over time caught up with current music. Most of it is crap. But I have made a rule about listening to the radio in the car: stop scanning when something of mild value is on because you won't find anything better. Scanning, I believe, is the hope that "something better" is on. And since scanning is almost as annoying as commercials, I have compiled a list of "acceptable bands." This means, if I find a song- any song- by a band on the list, I stop scanning. Of course, this list does not provide hours of scan-free music, but it does help.

Now, normally, some of these bands I would never have listened to, but each of them has some quality that I like and therefore I can stand to listen to them. Most of you out there will never have need for a list like this- you keep your cd/MP3/iPods in working order- but for those of you who do not care about technology, are poor, or are just sick of the music you own... here is my list. These are the bands you should give a listen to, cause there will not be anything better on the radio;

*Evanescence- after I got over the whole "angsty high school goth" theme of the band, I actually liked them enough to buy their cds.

*Chevelle- this one is new for me, but they have some really good songs. I'm on the fence about buying anything of theirs because they sound like everyone else- but they are the best of the "everyone else" sound.

*30 Seconds to Mars- also part of the "everyone else" sound, but good enough.

*Coldplay- Radiohead light.

*Katy Perry- she's so overplayed she's annoying, but still BTAE.

*Pink- like Evanescence, there was a stupid image to get over, but she's funny, catchy, and pro-woman.

*Bush- the first to run with the "everyone else" sound that bands are still using today. I put them on par with watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

*Kanye West- I think he's actually good music, but so many hate him that I felt he could be put on this list for your benefit. yeah he's creating dances that involve bopping yr head over yr shoulder, yeah he's got a big ego, but you're still tapping yr foot.

*Rhianna- she's also so overplayed she's annoying. I've stopped listening to her, but I always like her new music for a while (before it's played 100 times an hour).

*Pussycat Dolls- I want to hate them... but I end up dancing in my seat.

*Fergie- kinda the same review as above, but she has Black Eyed Peas cred.

*Justin Timberlake- sometimes I laugh at him, sometimes I laugh with him.

*Shakira- it's almost good music. just missing a little depth.

*Gwen Stefani (solo)- same review as Pussycat Dolls. also good to listen to when shopping at the mall or painting yr nails.

*Christina Aguilera- not a fan of her 1st or 3rd albums, but her 2nd was good music, so now I listen to whatever they are willing to play of hers.

*Sean Paul- you can't understand the man, but he has good beats.

Please note this list is made of bands that aren't good, but will do when trapped in the car with only a radio. Some of them have crossed over for me, but they began on this list. Aguilera and Kanye are the only ones I'll admit to liking in public, so don't ask.

Also note- I intentionally left off some okay bands because they belong to "acceptable genres." Basically, if you can find a heavy metal station (Metallica, Ozzy, Iron Maiden, etc.), classic rock (Hendrix, The Doors, Zepplin, etc.), classical (Beethoven, Chopin, Puccini, etc.), jazz/blues (Miles Davis, Chet Baker, Guy Barker, etc.), or country classics (Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline, Hank Williams, etc.)- listen to it. These genre stations will play more acceptable music more frequently than a rock or hip-hop station. It's just that if you live in Dallas or Austin (I'll keep this statement to cities I have personal knowledge of), you have a ton of choices for rock or hip-hop, but only one or two choices for the others (sometimes none). [Also- Led Zepplin is the one band you can find playing somewhere in any town in America.]

Happy travelling! Hope you don't have to listen to radio!

where did they go?

why are there no good role models for married couples or Christians anymore? I'm getting sick of watching movies and TV shows where people cheat or are trapped in loveless marriages, and the religious characters are either bigots or comic relief. I get that these obstacles/flaws are dramatic and realistic, but I think there's a surplus of lazy writing or lack of morals all throughout modern entertainment. and, yes, I know it's always been there, but I feel like something's changed. there used to be a yin and yang- there needs to be, and there should be. both sides of a story. it's bad/unhealthy for people to only be exposed to the negative.

and before anyone rants about me saying marriage and Christians are "good", let me restate; I'm just mourning the loss of equal representation.

I feel compelled to write something interesting (for my 1 follower), but I have the same problem here that I have with any diary or journal I've ever tried to write... the words in my head don't make the same amount of sense when written. I'm sure everyone experiences this, and it's probably just a matter of learning how to write. Whatever. Don't care; want to complain. Heh. So, I don't really think in words (to correct the sentence above), I think in concepts. My thoughts are not only based on the emotional responses I have to them, but on a network of various other previous thought streams. It's a complex web in my brain! Often very jumbly, too. I have a hard time keeping track of single thoughts- they don't sit still very long- and because they are tied to many other thoughts and ideas and emotions, I often mix them up, unable to distingush each individual one. None of this is very interesting. But to be able to take a thought with all it's complexities and put it out there for others to understand is the ultimate goal of most people, I imagine. To be understood. Ah... now that's a concept! Dostoevsky is my hero! (Go read 'Notes From Underground' to learn how to dump the crazy inside your head onto a page in a clear, structured manner.) Who isn't the nameless man? (At least in some way.) Bonus points to Dostoevsky for unjumbling the crazy of a person suffering from depression. He gets me twice. Ramble... ramble... ramble... DONE!